My Loss, No Gain
by LiL Moon
Summary: Matt sings a song writen by him and Davis about how they both lost their lovers because of the mistake of inviting over Sora and Yolei. Unrequited Sorato. Yamachi and Daiken. Based on the song 'After All I Said and Done'


I don't understand why, but for some reason I'm only writing Yamachi fics. I mean the only fanfics I ever read are all Taito, but for some reason I just can't stop writing Yamachi stories. I guess the only reason I do is because I see Tai as the lighthearted one and Matt as the rebel. Sometimes I think that Tai makes an excellent girl. Besides I'm tried of reading stories were Matt's always the weak one. I guess that must be why I like to write Yamachis instead of Taitos. Ah well. This is my first sad story in which I hope you like. Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or the song, 'After All I said and Done' by BBMac.  
  
My Loss, No Gain by LiL Moon  
  
(Matt's P.O.V.)  
  
It has been five years. Five lonely without my Tai-chan. I remember vaguely, those happy years we spent together, that was all I had until now.  
  
"Matt, we'll be ready in five minutes. You better get ready." Said a big tall scary looking man as he opened the door to my dressing room.  
  
"Thanks Akie." I waved to him and stood up, walking out the door.  
  
My band has become very popular lately. I've been going on tour and have performed in many different places. Now I was back in Japan and was singing for a big gig. This one will be my very last. I can't keep going on like this. Without Tai my life seems pointless. I can't keep a level head any more. Plus I made Sora miserable too. It only took one day, one mistake, to end everything. As soon as I got up on stage, the stage light blinded me. I could hear the crowd of people screaming out my name. The crowd was enormous! It was like an endless line of people. Though through the light and the rambunctious crowd I could make out the small figure standing near the front. It was Davis. He was the only one that showed up. Figures, he was supposed to any way. He smiled up at me sadly and gave me a thumbs-up. He and I had created a song just for the occasion and I knew that it would be wrong for him not to show up so I got him a special ticket. The other digidestined were too busy to make it and said that they would watch the concert at home. Namely T.K., Cody, Joe, and Izzy. Why you ask. Because they were the only ones that weren't hurt.  
  
"Ok, everybody give it up for The Teenage Wolves!"  
  
I began to strum my guitar and hmm lightly as we began our first song. I put all my emotion into all the songs, which made the crowd scream more as we began to close up the concert. I stepped up to the microphone. Well it's now or never Ishida. "Hey everybody, you all having a great time?!!!" My reply was followed by the loud sound of cheering. "Listen, before we close off this concert I am going to sing you all a brand new song that was written by me and my friend Davis." The crowd cheered again louder than the first time. "As you all know this is going to be my last concert so you better enjoy it while you can." The crowd awed and booed in unison, but I ignored it. "This song was especially written for courage, kindness, and love. I hope you all enjoy it." I began to strum my guitar again and slowly lead the band into the song that ended it all.  
  
I thought that you were working late.  
  
But that was when I made my first mistake.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Flash back)  
  
"Hey Matt!" Sora called out to Matt as she ran up to him.  
  
"Hey Sora."  
  
"Listen I'm not busy tonight so I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out and get a drink or something later?"  
  
"Sure, you can come to my place. Tai's gonna be working late any how."  
  
"Ok. About 7:00 then?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Cool." Sora gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you at 7:00 then." She waved good-bye and ran off.  
********************  
  
I didn't think much of that kiss at that time, but she did have plans for me. I got so drunk that I made out with her on the spot. I knew what I was doing, but when you're drunk you don't care. That's the problem, I'm not gay I'm BI, but that's no excuse. It didn't even seem to faze her that Tai and I were married. She didn't care; she still loved me and was going to have me no matter what.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As she walked into parlor and saw the clothes upon the floor it was too late.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Matt I'm home!" Tai called as he took off his shoes and made his way to the parlor.  
  
Tai froze in mid walk as he saw the clothes scattered around the floor. Not just Matt's clothes, but a woman's clothes too. Tai turned towards the bedroom door when he heard the sounds of snoring. As he walked in he saw Matt and Sora sleeping naked on the bed. Tai froze and said Matt's name loud enough for him to be heard.  
  
"Huh?" Matt woke up and saw a very sad and hurt Tai.  
  
"Tai?!"  
  
"Huh? Matt what is it?" Sora asked sleepily.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
She said she didn't understand and as she cried she took the ring from my left hand.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Matt?" Tai whispered very lightly. Which was almost unheard. "I don't understand." Tai whispered again as he began to cry.  
  
"Tai." Matt whispered too as he got out of bed and reached out to touch Tai's face, but his hand was swatted away.  
  
"Don't you touch me." Tai's face was filled with pure anger.  
  
"Tai I honestly didn't mean it, I .."  
  
"SHUT UP ISHIDA!!!" Matt was silenced.  
  
"Do you know what it's like to come home and find your husband getting full from his best friend?! Do you know what it feels like to be betrayed?! You have no idea how I feel right now!!!"  
  
"Tai, I can explain ."  
  
"Tell it to someone who cares." Tai cut in coldly.  
  
"Tai-chan?" Matt stepped closer to Tai. As Matt did this Tai took that opportunity to grab Matt's left hand and yank off his wedding ring that Tai had had gotten especially for Matt. It was gold and had the crest of courage and friendship imprinted in diamonds, then it had the words 'Tai and Matt forever' in silver.  
  
"Don't call me Tai- chan." Tai stared sternly at Matt. "I never want to see your face again."  
  
"Please no.."  
  
"I thought that you loved me Matt, I thought that you cared."  
  
"I do care Tai-chan." Matt pleaded as Tai made his way towards the door.  
  
"If you cared about me you would have never tried this little stunt, but I did you figured I wouldn't find out. You're pathetic."  
  
"No Tai you're wrong!!!" Matt began to cry and quickly grabbed Tai's arm, clinging to him. "You're wrong Tai I do care about you. I always have and always will. You mean more to me than anything else in the world. I'll do anything to make this up to you, just please don't go! I need you so much! I can't live without you! Please stay."  
  
Tai looked down at the crystal tear boy. His face was straight and his eyes held no emotion. "You've already broken my trust. So how do I know you won't do it again? I thought that you loved me, but if you did you wouldn't have done this to me, to us. I need to leave now and this I time I won't be coming back." Matt listened with the utter most disbelief, but didn't let Tai go. Tai did the honors himself and detached Matt from his arm.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Then I knew that it was over as she turned to me and said, "Our love is DEAD!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Why? I love you." Matt whispered.  
  
Tai froze as he had begun to turn the knob on the door. "Matt, our love is dead and buried." Tai turned to face Matt. "And I'm not going to dig it back up." With that he opened the door and was gone.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After all I said and done I know I'm not the only one.  
  
To of had it all and thrown it all away.  
  
All along under the sun.  
  
Maybe come tomorrow, I'll be through it all.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A while after the incident, I finally decided to come out of my house of depressing. I decided to take a nice walk in the park where I met Davis crying under a huge cherry blossom tree. "What's wrong Davis?" I asked.  
  
Davis sniffled. "K, Ken."  
  
"Yeah." I put a hand on Davis's shoulder and knelt down beside him.  
  
"I, I hurt Ken!" He shouted.  
  
"Huh? How?"  
  
"L, last night when he was out at work Yolei came over."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I asked if she wanted a drink and she said yes. So we both drank beer. We had gotten so drunk that we, we."  
  
Davis trailed off and began to cry. I wrapped my arms around him and began to rub his back trying to sooth him, but he kept going.  
  
"Ken came home early and saw me and Yolei. He got mad at me and he, he, left!"  
  
Davis then lost it and began to cry even harder, clinging to me just as I had done to Tai. Soon I began to cry too.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I know that what I did was wrong.  
  
But you don't know what you've got until it's gone.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I looked around our house in depression. This used to be 'our' house. Now it's just 'my' house. You kept your word this time Tai, you didn't come back. I was hoping that this time you wouldn't, but I should have known better. This house is a lot cleaner without you in it. It's also a lot quieter too. I walked over to the couch, sat down, and opened up my old photo album. Both Tai and me have one, mines black and his is blue. We both created them to our liking, that way if one of us was gone on a trip we would have these pictures to remember us by. Of course I don't know where Tai's is so I look at mine. The first picture I see when I open up the album is the one Tai's mom took at our wedding. I was in Tai's arms with mine wrapped around his neck. Both of us looked so hot in our black tuxes. Tai tried to get me to wear a girl's wedding dress, the key word there way 'tried'. He got me so mad that it scared him half to death. I smiled at the thought. The next one was at Tai's house when he was sleeping. He was siting straight up with his head tilted back on the couch and his mouth open wide snoring. I had put Miko in his lap. That silly cat was siting in her head tilted back and her mouth wide open. For some reason that cat liked to do impressions. Tai had taken a similar picture with me instead. In that picture I was lying on the couch asleep with Miko in front of lying on her stomach just like me. Only in that picture Tai had put on some cat ears and a cat tail on me from Kari's old Halloween costume.  
  
I smiled, but then felt something wet on my cheeks. I touched my face to find out that I was crying so I decided to stop. I sat in silence on the couch with my knees to my chest in a balled shape. I knew this wasn't right. I had to apologize sometime before it was too late. I debated about this for a long time and then decided to go to Kari's house. In hopes that Tai would be there.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
If there was something I could say to you to make you change your mind, you know I'd try.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ding-Dong  
  
"Who is it!" I heard some yell behind the door. There was no way that could be Kari.  
  
"What do you want?" Kari opened the door with bitter anger both in her voice and in her eyes.  
  
"I came to talk to Tai."  
  
"Oh really, well I sorry, but I don't think that he can talk right now." Kari said in a semi calm, angry voice.  
  
"Why not?" My pain started to show.  
  
"Hmm, I don't know maybe it's because some, dear I ask who, cheated on him with Sora." Kari said sarcastically.  
  
"Kari please, this was a huge mistake. I really need to talk to Tai."  
  
"No Matt you were the mistake. As for Tai he already told me everything and he said that he never ever wants to see you ever again! Neither do I so just get lost! Don't you ever think about coming back here ever again!" With that she slammed the door shut.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
After all I said and done I know I'm not the only one.  
  
To of had it all and thrown it all away.  
  
All along under the sun.  
  
Maybe come tomorrow, I'll learn to live without you.  
  
Maybe come tomorrow.  
  
Cause all I've got is here and now, but I don't want to live without you.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I received a call early next morning. It was from my manager. He was thinking that since my band was getting so popular that maybe we should go on and tour the world. I had given it some thought, but I wasn't too sure. I finally decided to talk to my band mates about it and they agreed that I should go, at least to clear my head. They said that some time away from Tai might be a good thing, but it only made me feel worse.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After all I said and done I know I'm not the only one.  
  
To of had it all and thrown it all away.  
  
All along under the sun.  
  
Maybe come tomorrow, I'll be through it all.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
To top it all off, I had gotten Sora pregnant! She had came over with the news a couple of days before I was supposed to go on tour. She had asked if I wanted to marry her so I would stay here, but I couldn't. Sora was great and everything, but I just wouldn't be able to live with her all my life.  
  
"You don't love me Matt?" Sora asked near tears.  
  
"I'm sorry Sora, but what happened that night was a big mistake. I don't think I could live with you all my life."  
  
"Matt how could you! You said that you loved me that night!" Sora was now crying.  
  
"Look Sora, I'm sorry for what I said. It wasn't true, besides I was married to Tai."  
  
"I don't care what you say Matt! I know you better than you know yourself and I know that deep down inside you're not as gay as you think you are! Deep down I know you really love ME!" Sora quickly turned around and ran out the door.  
  
"Yeah right."  
  
A couple of days after that I received an angry call from Mimi.  
  
Ring-Ring  
  
"Hello, Ishida residents."  
  
"Matt how could YOU!"  
  
"Mimi!?!"  
  
"That's right, it's me Ishida!"  
  
"What's up Mimi?"  
  
"You know what's up Matt! How could you do that to Sora!?"  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"How could you lead her on like that?! Telling her that you love her and then just blowing her off like that?"  
  
"I was drunk and I didn't mean any of it." Matt's voice was cold and hard.  
  
"That doesn't matter! You could have at least offered to take care of the baby and do your share."  
  
"I don't have to take care of it. It's Sora's own fault that she wants one."  
  
"MATT! You insensitive little creep! I'm not surprised that Tai left you!"  
  
SLAM!!!  
  
My hand suddenly a ting of pain, but I ignored it as I walked to my room.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After all I said and done I know I'm not the only one.  
  
To of had it all and thrown it all way.  
  
All along under the sun.  
  
Maybe come tomorrow,  
  
maybe come tomorrow,  
  
maybe come tomorrow, I'll be through it all.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Davis?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"How'd things go with Ken?"  
  
Davis sighed and looked away. I could see the pain in his eyes. "His mom wouldn't let me in the house to talk to him. She said that he was really upset."  
  
"Oh. What about Yolei?"  
  
Davis chuckled a little. "She didn't remember a thing until I asked her about it. Now she doesn't even want to breathe the same air as me. I don't care though, she was awful in bed."  
  
I smiled at Davis's humor. At least he was trying to maintain a happy life.  
  
"What about Sora and Tai? How are they doing?"  
  
My smile faded and I sighed. "Kari wouldn't let me talk to Tai and Sora's and Mimi are mad because I got her pregnant."  
  
Davis sighed again. "I knew there was a reason I became gay."  
  
"And that would be why?"  
  
"Girls are easy to get pregnant." He grinned.  
  
I smiled. "Yeah well that still doesn't help my situation."  
  
"Matt you're having a concert at Odaiba Stadium right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And write your own music right?"  
  
"Last time I checked."  
  
"So why don't you write a song to Tai and Sora."  
  
"Hey that's not a bad idea. Thanks Davis."  
  
"No problem." Davis smiled and sat up. "Well good luck at the concert." He began to walk away.  
  
"Davis wait!" Davis stopped and turned around.  
  
"Why don't we write this for Ken too."  
  
Davis smiled. "Yeah, but only if it's ok with you?"  
  
"The song just wouldn't feel right without your feelings in it too."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The song finally came to a close and the crowd was in an uproar! They loved it and I loved it too. I made eye contact with Davis and he nodded his head, mouthing the words 'great job'. I smiled and mouthed the words 'you too'. Even though this song held the bitter truth to our lives, we still embraced it with love. It was the only way to relieve us of the pain, even if it will still be there tomorrow or even the next day. I looked up into the night sky and gazed at the full moon. Suddenly a strange sensation came over and I knew at that instant what it was. That sense of warmth and feeling of amber eyes upon me. "Tai."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Click.  
  
Shaky hands slowly moved towards the channel changer and pressed the off button.  
  
Kari came out of the laundry room with a basket of clothes. She stopped when she noticed Tai shaking.  
  
"Tai what's wrong? Are you ok?" Kari quickly put down the basket and made her way over to her brother.  
  
Tai slowly slide off the couch and on to the floor in a fetal position; his legs raised to his chest and began to cry.  
  
Kari rushed to his aid and put a hand on his shoulder. "Tai, what's wrong? Please tell me I want to help."  
  
Through his cries she could only make out one word, "Matt."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Finally! That took forever! Please say you like it. Also I debating whether or not to do one in Tai's P.O.V. I might, but I want some reassurance before I start. Also I think I might have messed up the lyrics on one line, but it was for the better. It's no big deal. Please review. 


End file.
